I saw a TikTok that said that we go to therapy to deal with issues that people who needed therapy didn’t deal with. Last year’s class put me on to TikTok and said it was the only way they would keep in touch with me and not via email. So yeah, I opened a TikTok account so that we could keep in touch. And I love TikTok y’all. It is so wholesome and addictive. Just what I needed in this lockdown.
Finding a therapist and forming a relationship with her has helped me navigate this teaching year and helped me be more introspective, unpack my childhood traumas, and be a better teacher. The kids deserve that. They deserve a teacher who is aware of their inner child and actively working on being a better person to create a safe space for them.
Growing up, I was a quiet child that used books to escape the world around me. I didn’t explore much. Mourning what I could have learned and enjoyed doing has been an arduous journey. Nurturing that part of me and exploring alongside the learners I teach has been a great way to do the things I like. They found it inspiring that I did Passion Projects alongside them, and they have been my loudest cheerleaders. They see that child in me, they relate, and we have taken risks together.
I am setting boundaries. I continue to work on this, and the more I honour these boundaries, the better I become at demonstrating what boundaries might look like for them. Encouraging them to set their boundaries, enforcing them irrespective of whether it is with peers or adults, helps us form a community where we have an intact identity both individually and as a community.
Processing your emotions. I’ve had countless times where I couldn’t hold my tears back and that odd silence where they are stunned at the sight of an ugly adult crying. We have had conversations where I’ve said that we all have good and bad days, and sometimes we need a moment to decompress. They are entitled to feel that way. Letting your teacher know that you need a time out to process those feelings is okay. They do not have to share what they are going through with me, but I am available if they need to. They knew it was okay to take 5 minutes to go and scream into the abyss. I do it too.
Unlearning your helplessness. Like I get it, sometimes it feels like things happen to you and it is out of your control, but that is not okay. It is your life, and you are in charge. Do you feel frustrated by something? Let’s explore your options. Don’t you like how someone is speaking to you? Let’s set some boundaries. Do your parents think you should be doing homework during a pandemic? Let’s find you some research as a comeback. Understanding that we can always change the trajectory is necessary for being happy and fulfilled people.
The more I work with children, the more I understand my inner child. When I face and explore those traumas and learn how to show up for her, the more empathetic and better I become as a teacher.
