So I got a new job!
I still have a couple of months for it to sink in. It has been quite a journey for me to get here. Choosing to leave a job after 9 years has been a huge decision for me. But also, I am the kind of person whose thoughts wander about and might not celebrate my successes as I should often.
The thing that made me the most uncomfortable was when people kept congratulating me about my job with such enthusiasm in comparison to my white peers. I mean granted that it is my first job being hired internationally but for some reason,I was uncomfortable. Until recently when I realized that what made me uncomfortable about this situation is the exceptionalism it was steeped in. When my Ugandan peers said they were proud of me it made me feel like they probably were living through me but with that came the pedestal. That I must be really special and one of the chosen few. Which ignored the fact that behind the scenes I have been depressed and it has taken so much for me to put the stability I have for the past 9 years on the line. But in that, it also ignores the fact that if my professional path, as basic as it is sounds inspirational, it is because the system has failed us and that any professional choices I make seem to be groundbreaking because we are accustomed to having so many hurdles in front of us that it feels like we are breaking the glass ceiling at every turn.
So no, I am not one bit excited about being a token but rather overwhelmed at the rarity of similar experiences in these spaces.
