I was tired of where I was; it felt like I kept going around and around in circles. The goal post was every year. Each year, the rules and expectations were different, and I was tired of playing catch up to something entirely made up. After five years as a teaching assistant, I decided to quit my job. I leave on my 30th birthday. I was frustrated, broke and mentally bored and exhausted. I did not have a backup option either, I had tried to find a teaching job, and nothing had shown up. I said to myself if the worst came to the worst, I would move to Fort Portal, my parents’ village. Food would be easy to come by. I was over showing up to a job that could not afford my rent. I spent money on a kindle and a couple of books because I knew this was all I needed to whether whatever was coming next.
I never told my family or colleagues when I quit my job. I never told them when I applied for the job until I got it. Because sometimes, those who love us and care for us are the actual stumbling block.
Two weeks before the end of the school year, I was offered a teaching position in the same grade. Just when I had packed up my bags and was on my way out of the door. I had applied for that position at the very last minute. It was a last-minute decision; the numbers had suddenly shot up. At the end of the hiring season, they needed someone immediately. I lost a friend because we applied for the same position. I recall the interview process. Her session had run longer than expected. As I sat in the waiting room and heard her confidently chatting and laughing away, I questioned why I was doing this in the first place. I am an introvert, and I mostly keep to myself unless I am comfortable enough with you. Unlike my friend, she had made all the right connections; she had invested time and effort in forming genuine relationships with the admin.
I hadn’t. At that moment, I remembered a parable from the Quran where a builder was tasked with building a house. He did a shoddy job. Unbeknownst to him, the house was his. Was that me? Had I ignored all the opportunities to network and had been too lazy to make an effort? It took all I had left in me not to walk away and give up altogether? After all, what other options were I running to? Neither of us knew we were applying to the same position. I was walking in after she felt like a losing battle. She eventually left the school altogether. She never spoke to me again.
The decision I made reminds me of the fool card in the tarot deck. Have faith in yourself and take the risk even when it scares the hell out of you. Viewing the world with childlike wonder with infinite possibilities and enjoying the journey rather than fixating the destination. I would do it again because I realise that walking away from something that no longer serves you always brings better opportunities your way.
